Something close to my heart and my family.

Ok, so I apparently SUCK at blogging so far. Umm...August was the last time I posted. Wow....good thing I'm not reporting the news or anything, huh!?!? 
Time to get back to it and be a little more "regular". Well...great. THAT sounds like an advertisement for Activia. 
Soooooo, for now I am just going to post a little video about something that is very close to my heart:

PKD

(Polycystic Kidney Disease)

This disease affects more than 600,000 Americans and more than 12.5 Million people worldwide. It is one of the MOST COMMON life threatening genetic diseases, affecting more people than Down syndrome, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, hemophelia and sickle cell anemia - COMBINED! 

 

So, why is this important for me to share with whoever is reading this? I have been personally touched by the devastating effects of this disease. 

This is what PKD looks like on the INSIDE.

Here are the people in my most immediate family that have or had the disease:

My Grandma

My Great-Aunt

My Uncle ( x2)

My Brother

My Mom

 My Grandma, one Uncle, my Great-Aunt and most recently, my brother, all died from complications of this dreadful disease. It's a lot of loss in one family from ONE disease. 

My brother, Jason, died almost 2 years ago at the very young age of just 34. He was just 3 years younger than me. I can't even imagine the pain and suffering he had to deal with and I still can't believe he is gone. He was always such a happy guy, so full of love and life. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him. 

This is me and my brother Jason, in 1994. We always had so much fun together!

My AMAZING Mom has PKD too. She was on kidney dialysis (like most of my family members with the disease) for a few years before she was lucky enough to receive a kidney transplant. The transplant is NOT a cure, but it does allow her to live without the necessity of dialysis and feel so much better. I am so grateful, every day, to the young girl and her brave family. They made a decision, at a truly sorrowful time in their lives, to give the gift of life through organ donation. I have my Mom with me and my daughter gets to have her most wonderful Grandma to play with and love, because of this miraculous and special gift. 

PKD Walk 2008. Walking to support, honor and find a cure.

PKD is something that today has no cure and no treatment. But, they are getting closer to finding one. 

Please watch the video above to learn a little more about Polycystic Kidney Disease.

Or, go to  http://www.pkdcure.org/ to get lots more information. Thanks :)

10 Things I have Learned Watching the 2012 Summer Olympics (SO FAR)

1. When the olympics are on I immediately become LESS active because my rear end is parked on the couch (or bed) intently watching whatever athletic event is on tv. And I usually have a snack in hand. This CANNOT be good for my own athleticism.
2. I enjoy watching cycling. Why?? I still have not figured that out yet, but if it is on, I will watch. Kinda reminds me of that whole "Field of Dreams" idea. I. Just. Get. Sucked. In.
3. Scrunchies did NOT die in 1996, like I had previously thought. They are very much alive and apparently the accessory of choice for female gymnasts the world over. Ugh, I'd like to see wearing them become an instant point deduction. They are that awful.

4. Beach volleyball participants, both male and female, are VERY touchy feely! They either hug or pat each other on the bum after EVERY point or failed attempt to score a point. This is apparently a strategy to make the matches run just THAT much longer. (PS, does anyone else find it odd to watch people play "BEACH" volleyball in LONDON? AT NIGHT? IN THE RAIN? )
5. I don't fast forward through Bob Costas' little info moments between events because I am waiting for the moment when his forehead and cheeks actually show signs of life.

6. Water polo "rain bonnets" are funny.
7. I am apparently a big English Royal fan. (I didn't expect to get sooo excited about seeing William and Harry in the audience at the Men's Gymnastic Events that I would literally clap.) And I now find myself constantly searching the crowds for other Royal sightings.
8. I will still watch a medal event EVEN IF NBC blows it and spoils the results for all of us.
9. I hate seeing ANY of the athletes fall, slip, crash etc...I will watch most of the balance beam, uneven bars and pommel horse events through my fingers because I can hardly bare to see them mes up.
10. All the swimmers look, at least for a few moments, like mermaids with that legs out, hands clasped, wiggly body thing they do when they first dive in or make a turn. AND I want to learn how to do it!!
Ok....so...that's all I have for now...the Olympics are on and I am sure I have much, much more to learn and see!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....or at least gets you a little closer.

"Why do bad things happen to good people?" This is a question I don't think I will ever....or at least not for a very, very, very long time..get an answer to. I have asked myself this question, as have many of my friends and family, about a GAZILLION times. Seriously, a gazillion. (Yes, I know its not a real word/number but come on...YOU KNOW what I mean.) I started asking this question at a young age when my Grandpa died on Christmas Eve. The question resurfaced time and time again as I saw my parents divorce, lost Uncles, a cousin and loving Grandparents, knowing my husband, Alex struggles with low vision daily with no chance for improvement, watching the towers fall on September 11th and as so many people suffer at the hands of war, poverty, natural distasters and on and on.
More recently, I asked this question when my brother Jason passed away  at the age of 34,  when my dear friend Kim's little boy Ethan died at the sweet age of just 7 (http://errandsforethan.org/Home.html), when a friend lost a baby girl just 12 days old, when I lost my baby at almost 15 weeks pregnant, when my sweet friend Jill found out suddenly she needed brain surgery to remove a tumor and finally within in the past weeks as my close high school friend, Barra was given the news she would be battling breast cancer for the SECOND time. So, I cry. I ask why over and over again.
 I am sooo  MAD that my friend has to battle this stupid cancer AGAIN. I feel mad with her and sad with her, and I don't cry FOR her but WITH her. Just as I cry and just as I question, I also find myself constantly amazed, inspired and motivated by going through my own struggles and watching and supporting my friends and family as they go through theirs.

Because, what I have discovered is that I have the most courageous and strong family and friends. They may not climb Mount Everest or personally find the cure for  cancer but they do amazing things each and every day. On the heels of  personal loss, sadness, sickness and struggles they keep moving forward. They get up every day and do what needs to be done. They find the strength to smile and laugh and love again. My Mom continues to care for her whole family, even after having suffered th horrible loss of her son. Kim, courageously shares her story with all that are willing to listen and offers hope, love and shows me what a strong Mom and woman she is. Linda cares for everyone around her, mothering and loving everyone who needs it, all while missing her baby girl each and every day. She was there to hold me and cry with me and tell me that she knew exactly how I felt when I went through my own loss.  Jill laughs at herself and in spite of a serious situation she finds the good in everything and everyone. Barra laughs and cries and does it all as she shares her personal fight in her blog. She finds her words through the music of others and lets those of us who love her, a glimpse right into her heart. These people are my heroes. Pretty lucky, cause they are also my family and my friends.I am beyond blessed in my life to have such examples of perseverance and strength to look up to.  Their examples have helped me when I struggle. They motivate me to put on my big girl panties, smile and move onward.
 Because while we may not be able to turn the clocks and take away our pain and suffering, we can use the strength we find to carry on and maybe even help someone else get through the day.
Let's just put it out there: Sometimes, LIFE SUCKS!!  So if I need to be mad or sad somedays because life just has handed me too much to bear, then I will scream at the top of my lungs. I will find something unbreakable to punch and sometimes I will just cry myself to sleep. Then I will get it out of my system, get up,get dressed, slap a smile on my face and carry on. Cause, if all those people who have inspired me can do it... so can I.

 So to all of my heroes, thank you for being you, for being tough when you had to, for  making me such a LUCKY GIRL... for being STRONG and for making me STRONGER.XOXO

Being a grown-up is fun???

     Do you remember the days where you couldn't wait to "grow up"? I remember saying it countless times in numerous situations: "When I grow up I won't______(fill in the blank with whatever parenting thing I swore I would never do)". "I can't wait to be a grown up." "I am NOT a kid anymore" (when actually I totally was). We all did it. We ALL couldn't wait to be grown up. MAN, do I ever wish sometimes I could call a "take back". What the heck was I so excited for? Work? Bills? Taxes? Stress? Worry? Oh yeah.....being a grown up is SOOO much fun, right? (insert sarcastic laughter here.) 

     Now, don't get me wrong. I love who I am right now. I love being a wife and a mother. I love having rights that "Grown Ups" get, like the right to vote etc. BUT......I wish I had really slowed down a little, maybe APPRECIATED the time I got to be a kid a little bit more. Maybe spending less time dreaming about what I would do when I was a "grown up".

     Being Isabella's Mommy gives me the opportunity to relive some of my childhood all over again. I love getting down on the floor and playing "Barbies" with her - something I couldn't just do on my own as an adult without the need for SERIOUS counseling. I love having coloring contests with her and playing games like Chutes and Ladders or Hop Skotch. But more than doing those things myself, I love WATCHING her get to experience her childhood. Nothing is better than seeing her face light up when the Ice Cream Truck appears on our street. I get goosebumps when she reads a new word all by herself for the first time. I can't help but smile watching her play T-Ball in a too big t-shirt wearing a HUGE batting helmet. I love the pride on her face when she makes contact with the ball and gets a "hit". My favorite thing is listening to her tell me about what she wants to be when she grows up or when she asks me to tell her about what she was like when she "was little". 

T-Ball: "I have to hold that big old helmet on when I run, Mom!"

     She has told me, on more than one occasion, that she doesn't want to grow up yet. She likes being a little kid. That makes me exceedingly happy. While I love watching her grow into an independent young lady who can do things "all by myself", I love getting to watch her be little. So I tell her that growing up is inevitable and that there are SOOO many fun things she will get to do and experience as she grows. I also tell her to enjoy every minute of being little. Cause she is right, it is SUPER fun being a kid! 

A quick cuddle with my favorite girl!

     So for now, I am going to go and scoop up that sweet little girl and cuddle her on my lap (while she will still let me) and read her a story and enjoy the time she gets to be little. And I will let THAT part of being a grown up, the fun part, even out all the not so fun parts. Really, because that is all that truly matters.

She is just like me.

I admit it, sometimes I am just plain SCARED of my daughter. OKAY, so maybe not scared like I am of spiders and scary movies, but scared of how like me she is.

 A running joke in my family is how big of a baby I am when it comes to  anything medical and anything remotely painful. Examples: I used to scream every time I got my hair washed (because I hated water in my face). I have been known to walk around for a WEEK with a splinter in my foot because I was sure the pain of pulling it out would be way worse than the pain of keeping it in. I once locked myself in the bathroom when I cut my leg open and refused to open it until my parents promised they would not make me get stitches. I once was screaming and crying so much while in the ER, for my BROTHER being treated with a gash to the head, that the Dr. didn't know whether to treat his injury or me for shock first. At the camp I worked for in California, I was bitten by a Brown Recluse spider and when the Dr in the emergency room brought out a HUGE needle to extract a "sample" from my leg I told him "Seriously, I'll be home in two days. Lets just leave it be until I get back to Ohio." (lucky for me the Dr. did not listen to a word I said.) How ridiculous, right? I did eventually get over my ridiculousness. About 6 years ago I put on my "big girl panties" and actually elected to have surgery to find out what was going on with my infertility. Alex and my Mom were pretty surprised at my quick willingness to have surgery at all and even more so with the fact that I wasn't even nervous about it! ( I was shocked at myself as well.) From that surgery (and the pain from recovery on) I have been a very different person when it comes to pain etc. Maybe something in me clicked cause I went through childbirth without an epidural and have since had to deal with other pretty painful things with a pretty good attitude. Don't get me wrong - I don't ENJOY pain, but I just don't worry about it like I used to. 

So.....now that we have had a short "History of Insanity With Jodi", back to Isabella. 

I always hoped that Isabella would NOT have this personality trait. Well, she has it. Such a lesson in NATURE vs. NURTURE. I have made  a huge effort to be an example of bravery with pain ever since Isabella was born. Has. Not. Helped. She is deathly afraid of band-aids and will not allow one to touch her skin, no matter how cute and fun they may appear. We literally had to hold this child down the other day to put on a piece of gauze and some soft medical tape to cover a little wound she had. Our neighbors probably thought something awful was going on with her screaming the way she was! (I did make sure all the windows were closed before we even attempted said bandage application.) She kicked, she screamed, she cried, she begged and at one point she even sounded as if her body had been taken over by some evil force! We finally and successfully were able to get the bandage on. I held her on my lap until she stopped sobbing and then she realized that hey, that didn't hurt at all. Now she asks us to change the bandage (gauze) regularly and will even allow us to "decorate" the gauze with a band-aid - AS LONG AS THE BAND-AID DOES NOT TOUCH HER SKIN!!!! Baby steps. Baby steps. 

Showing off her "Owie Finger".

She is her Mother's Daughter after all and it is scary. My Mom just laughs and talks about "paybacks". I do feel REALLY bad for my Mom now after experiencing all of this from the other side. Sorry Mom!!! I feel bad for Alex since he gets to experience the drama as well as the arguing of "Me and Mini Me". 

I just can't help but love her a little more.

"FUN" - with super glue

Okay, so sometimes I do some REALLY stupid things. Like yesterday for example. Wait for it.....wait for it....I SUPER-GLUED A SIGN TO MY FINGER.............YES!! You read that correctly. I can't even make that up. I was at work, checking some signs to replace/repair them and I found a few that needed some minor gluing to keep the edges from curling up. Super Glue to the rescue, right? Wrong. While the glue totally failed at holding the corner of the signs in place, it TOTALLY worked on gluing one of said signs directly to my index finger. Oh joy. But no worries, I played it cooooooool. I walked down to my office very nonchalantly, making it look like I was just holding the sign, closed the door to the office and THEN freaked out! (but only for a few minutes) Thankfully we had alcohol wipes and nail polish remover in the office so, crisis averted. Whew!!!! Stupid? YES! Embarrassing? Absolutely! BUT, I learned a very valuable lesson. Super glue - NOT so "super". I will be steering clear of that evil stuff from here on out.

A Little Pomp & Circumstance

     Last Thursday, Isabella "graduated" from preschool. Yes, I know, it's just preschool. But, come on, its PRESCHOOL and its over. She is no longer a "preschooler" which also means in her world, that she is no longer a little girl. Time sure does go fast. Wasn't it just yesterday that she was born? Wasn't she JUST learning to crawl and say "Mama"? Things change so quickly, you hardly even have time to catch your breath between moments. In a few short months she will start Kindergarten. I KNOW that will be a day I will cry and I am okay with that. I have time to prepare! 

     So let's talk about Preschool. This year, Isabella attended preschool at Pine School in North Olmsted, Ohio. She was a peer model in the inclusive preschool program. It is such an awesome experience and I am so glad she got to be part of that type of program for the past two years. This year she grew by leaps and bounds in more ways than I could ever even imagine she would. She didn't get to start this school year until October ( a few months behind her classmates) since the class was full at the beginning of the school year. In September she got to attend a screening and VERY lucky for us, she was chosen to be in the program. From day one she was so excited about going back to school. She came home, after that first day, beaming with pride as she told us all about her day and about her brand new friends. She went to school each and every day this year with a HUGE smile on her face. Never once did she cry, ask to stay home OR cling to my leg and beg me to stay with her. BIG ACHIEVEMENT. This year she had lots to talk about every day. She learned her phone number, address and started to read!! So much excitement and so much for us to be proud of! It was fun for me to get to know some of the other Mom's from the class too. What a FUN year!!

     To celebrate the end of the school year they held a class picnic on the last day. The parent's got to attend, so of course I was there! The children had hot dogs, juice and snacks that each of the kids brought in. After the picnic the kids got a chance to run and play together. It was amazing getting to watch them hold hands, run and play. Smiles on EVERY face. They loved each other. Isabella did have a few extra special friends this year. Amina and Kareem were definitely her favorite buddies to play with and they ALWAYS seemed to be together. I love watching her make new friends and laugh about all the things they find so funny. 

Isabella & Kareem

Running and Playing!

Last day of school squeezes!

Singing about Kindergarten!

     Thursday was the official day of graduation. We arrived at school right before 9am and the kids were taken to their classroom to prepare for the festivities. The parents and guests were directed to the "multi-purpose" room where they were showing a dvd of pictures of all the children throughout the year. Set to emotionally charged music we laughed and smiled and "oohed and aahed" at those sweet little faces on the screen!

Very Proud Grandma and Grandpa!

      Grandma, Grandpa, Daddy and I all watched as we anxiously awaited seeing our little graduate. When the time came for the graduates to make their entrance, all eyes were on the door. They walked in, all dressed up, wearing real caps with tassels and white ribbons around their necks with gold printing proclaiming their preschool graduate status! I felt a few tears start to flood my eyes, but I fought them back and beamed with pride as Isabella walked in and waved to us. The Director of Pupil Services shared a few remarks with the group and then the four preschool classes took the stage to sing us a few songs. How cute they were and how excited. They were smiling and proud and so very happy to be showing off what they had learned.

      I loved every moment of it. After the singing was over each child was called one-by-one back on stage to receive their diploma from their teacher. They even had them move their tassel from one side to the other. Seriously OFFICIAL!!! Everyone in the audience clapped for each child. It was nice to see everyone in the audience so excited for ALL of the kids. They loved the attention and they deserved the applause! 

Our Sweet Little Graduate

Isabella and Mrs. Tucker

After the Pomp & Circumstance was over the children were all reunited with their families for lots of pictures and hugs. We had a chance to talk a little with the teachers and it was nice to hear such kind words about our kids. Isabella's main teacher, Mrs Tucker, said that Isabella was very sweet, kind and nurturing. She told me that Isabella always made sure every child was included during play time and would often leave the group to play with a child who had gone off to play alone. I was so proud to hear that not only was my daughter sweet and caring at home but that she had this innate sense of charity outside the home too! What a great example she is to us.One of the teacher's aides,Mrs Veverka, (who just so happened to Isabella's favorite person ever at school!) said that Isabella was her favorite this year and that Isabella was the sweetest child ever. Mrs. Brookover, the other classroom aide, told my parents that Isabella would one day be Student Council President because she cared about everyone in her class. How did I get so lucky??

Isabella and Mrs. Veverka

     We had a chance to have some cake and take some pictures before it was time to say goodbye to friends and teachers.

Isabella will get to see a bunch of her friends over the summer at playdates etc, but it won't be exactly the same. She was a little sad to say goodbye and leave school that day. Even though she's young, she got it a bit. She knew things were different after this graduation thing.

Isabella, Mahdi and Kareem

Isabella and Amina

 It was a moment I will long remember, walking out with my little girl after a very momentous (to her at least) occasion. As we walked out, I quietly thought about all the other big moments we will get to experience together. 

     Being a parent is the best. We get to watch our children go through all the same experiences and moments we went through ourselves, but with fresh eyes and a different perspective. Big moments and little. From the moments where there is Pomp & Circumstance and the moments there is just our own inner pride and celebration. I couldn't be luckier or more blessed.

The gorgeous graduate.