"Why do bad things happen to good people?" This is a question I don't think I will ever....or at least not for a very, very, very long time..get an answer to. I have asked myself this question, as have many of my friends and family, about a GAZILLION times. Seriously, a gazillion. (Yes, I know its not a real word/number but come on...YOU KNOW what I mean.) I started asking this question at a young age when my Grandpa died on Christmas Eve. The question resurfaced time and time again as I saw my parents divorce, lost Uncles, a cousin and loving Grandparents, knowing my husband, Alex struggles with low vision daily with no chance for improvement, watching the towers fall on September 11th and as so many people suffer at the hands of war, poverty, natural distasters and on and on.
More recently, I asked this question when my brother Jason passed away at the age of 34, when my dear friend Kim's little boy Ethan died at the sweet age of just 7 (http://errandsforethan.org/Home.html), when a friend lost a baby girl just 12 days old, when I lost my baby at almost 15 weeks pregnant, when my sweet friend Jill found out suddenly she needed brain surgery to remove a tumor and finally within in the past weeks as my close high school friend, Barra was given the news she would be battling breast cancer for the SECOND time. So, I cry. I ask why over and over again.
I am sooo MAD that my friend has to battle this stupid cancer AGAIN. I feel mad with her and sad with her, and I don't cry FOR her but WITH her. Just as I cry and just as I question, I also find myself constantly amazed, inspired and motivated by going through my own struggles and watching and supporting my friends and family as they go through theirs.
Because, what I have discovered is that I have the most courageous and strong family and friends. They may not climb Mount Everest or personally find the cure for cancer but they do amazing things each and every day. On the heels of personal loss, sadness, sickness and struggles they keep moving forward. They get up every day and do what needs to be done. They find the strength to smile and laugh and love again. My Mom continues to care for her whole family, even after having suffered th horrible loss of her son. Kim, courageously shares her story with all that are willing to listen and offers hope, love and shows me what a strong Mom and woman she is. Linda cares for everyone around her, mothering and loving everyone who needs it, all while missing her baby girl each and every day. She was there to hold me and cry with me and tell me that she knew exactly how I felt when I went through my own loss. Jill laughs at herself and in spite of a serious situation she finds the good in everything and everyone. Barra laughs and cries and does it all as she shares her personal fight in her blog. She finds her words through the music of others and lets those of us who love her, a glimpse right into her heart. These people are my heroes. Pretty lucky, cause they are also my family and my friends.I am beyond blessed in my life to have such examples of perseverance and strength to look up to. Their examples have helped me when I struggle. They motivate me to put on my big girl panties, smile and move onward.
Because while we may not be able to turn the clocks and take away our pain and suffering, we can use the strength we find to carry on and maybe even help someone else get through the day.
Let's just put it out there: Sometimes, LIFE SUCKS!! So if I need to be mad or sad somedays because life just has handed me too much to bear, then I will scream at the top of my lungs. I will find something unbreakable to punch and sometimes I will just cry myself to sleep. Then I will get it out of my system, get up,get dressed, slap a smile on my face and carry on. Cause, if all those people who have inspired me can do it... so can I.
So to all of my heroes, thank you for being you, for being tough when you had to, for making me such a LUCKY GIRL... for being STRONG and for making me STRONGER.XOXO
